News Archive

Posted by chimp_chicken_fish on 5th of June 2011 at 05:43 AM NST
Heya, everyone! How's everyone coping with the new Yooyuball? *Runs from the Techo Super-Fan* Well, he's obviously angry... or is that happiness? It's apparent that it's hard to distinguish what mood that Techo is in just by yelling all of the time. Time to put on your sun lotion as we bring you the match report for Day 4 (June 4th) of the Altador Cup. Don't forget about your poor P3s, Habitarium owners!

Gaining the only sweep of the day, Team Tyrannia cried victorious by taking four sound wins against Team Moltara. "It's not going to end up like last year, it's not going to end up like last year..." Vere Polnicek from Team Moltara was heard chanting quietly to herself. Fear not, Moltara, there is plenty of time for you to break out of old habits. "Scrap" Taggart from Tyrannia was feeling smug. "I'm getting a good feeling about this year for Team Tyrannia."

It was a disappointing day for the Roos when Team Virtupets put their robot programming to full capacity and processed three epic wins in Yooyuball, Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise! Team Roo Island's Captain, Lilo Blumario, was able to stand his ground by Drawing Shootout Showdown against Captain Keetra Deile of the opposing squad. "Team Virtupets is definitely rising up the ranks," Lilo remarked friendily. "They have newly found talent." Keetra smiled after hearing this. "The Rooligans still have great sportsmanship, it's fun playing against them. Especially when we win!"

In a war that has lasted since Captain Scarblade's reign of terror, Maraqua and Krawk Island clashed Maractite and steel in the stadium. Both teams were unable to best eachother at Yooyuball, but Team Maraqua had the upper-hand in the support games. "I was too slow," Captain Elon Hughlis grumbled to himself as he made his way to the locker rooms. "If I had timed it right with that Clockwork Yooyu, we would have had a clean sweep!" Ealyn Hawkshanks of Team Krawk Island refused to comment on the match. It was not worth mentioning.

The Darigan Citadel loomed ominously over majestic land of Altador, overcasting their day in shadow as their team won Yooyuball, Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown. Tandrak Shaye beamed at his fans. "Sorry, Altador, no sun for you this week." Winberto Seliz, Altador's Centre Forward, sighed in relief at their win in Slushie Slinger. "Thankfully our Slushie Slinging waitress was on form! We owe her a lot for preventing DC getting the clean sweep!"

Team Kreludor moonwalked all over Kiko Lake by gaining the same result as Team Darigan Citadel - three wins minus Slushie Slinger that went to their opponents. Erli Quinnock of Kiko Lake said, "Well, they did place Second last year, the odds were kinda stacked against us." Jurin T. of Kreludor shrugged. "It's just a matter of odds and statistics. We were better than them. That's all it narrows down to."

It was the beach versus the desert yesterday and the Altador Cup Committee weren't too impressed about getting sand in their sandles! "Team Lost Desert is slipping," Teylor Nix of Team Mystery Island observed, brushing off some dust from his uniform. "Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown were in the bag for us almost immediately. Their fans stepped up their game, though, by drawing Make Some Noise and winning Slushie Slinger against us." Apparently the Desert folk were so thirsty, they made record sales that day! "I think Zeenana was the best seller," Vonde Cayle of Lost Desert mused.

The knights trudged throught the snowy tundra, bracing themselves against the bitter cold of Team Terror Mountain's offence, and finally managed to place that special Team Meridell flag at the summit of the mountain. The Meridellians won Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger, lost Make Some Noise (isn't shouting on a mountain considered dangerous?) and drew Shootout Showdown. "Good show, good show!" Captain "Wizard" Windelle clapped at the results. "We weren't afraid of them, honest!" Minae Mitora of Terror Mountain shook her head. "The knights got the best of us. Gotta hand it to them!"

The Ninjas took the scholars by surprise yesterday in a sneak attack that won them both Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown. "I don't think that Brightvale's defenders realised what we were up to on the field," Antola Maeir sniggered, recalling the match. "Foltaggio had them on their toes and in Shootout Showdown Mirsha really showed them who was boss!" Not all was lost for Team Brightvale as they soundly defeated Team Shenkuu in Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise. "You win some, you lose some. It's just nice that it didn't rain during the match," Reb Weemelott said optimistically as he removed his Yooyuball Sling.

Hanso: Hey, guys! It's your favourite Ixi here. I've been allowed to do the coverage for the Faerieland versus Haunted Woods match. How nice! Well, seeing as I WAS there when Xandra crashed Faerieland right next-door to the Woods, it does seem fitting that I should be the one writing this part of the match report. Well, personally I was rooting for the Faeries - why, I AM employed by Queen Fyora now, of course - but, alas, we didn't win this time :(. I think that it was technically cheating when "Brains" Mortigan tackled Delma Harrence to try and eat her brains, he should have been given a Yellow Card for THAT! But somehow the ref. let Team Haunted Woods win in the end. Nevermind, better luck next time, Faeries! At least you managed to take Slushie Slinger, Fyora tells me that she is VERY pleased with the fans for that win. And can someone explain to me HOW we lost Make Some Noise? Our side of the stadium was packed! Now Kakoni Worrill was excellent in Shootout Showdown against Zo Junior, if I do say so myself! A whole TIE! Against one of the best forwards... whoa, I mean, I'm not trying to offend you, Kakoni, but he is statistically better on the pitch... to end in a tie on that game is amazing. Is that it? Do I really have to end this match report now? Aww, well have fun, everyone and GO TEAM FAERIELAND!
Brynn: I haven't joined a team, Hanso, my heart is divided between Brightvale and Faerieland!
Hanso: I can tell that! You look ridiculous with those Team Spirit Flags for Faerieland whilst wearing a Brightvale Jersey.
Brynn: *Whacks him* I support BOTH.
Hanso: *Recoils* Whoa, calm down, sweetheart! Anyway, we're taking up too much of this SunnyNeo newspost. *Bows to the readers* Thank you for your time, see you in the Colosseum!

It looks like Captain Garin of the Black Pawkeet will be joining us in the VIP Booth tomorrow! Watch this space.

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Hanso: ME! I rule!