News Archive

Posted by chimp_chicken_fish on 23rd of June 2011 at 05:00 AM NST
Hello again, time's really racing on so let's not waste anymore time with this match report, I'm pretty sure you've all got those foam hands waiting to be waved around like lunatics! Cracking on we have a few clean sweeps to talk about, stuff about a place that doesn't exist, and of course the main bulk of SunnyNeo's match report on Day 22 (June 22nd) of the Altador Cup.

The first sweep of the day went to Team Krawk Island who raided the shores of Team Mystery Island and left nothing un-pillaged. Four games to the pirates, Mumbo Pango will not be happy with the beach-dwellers. "Hey, I was gonna say that!" Volgoth complained to us. Nitri Cassale from Team Krawk Island cried, "Set sail for our next sweep, Captain!"

Captain Elon Hughlis (his boastfulness) was thrilled with the clean sweep his team, Team Maraqua, got against Team Altador. We allowed him a moment to release his pent-up excitement. "Aw heck yeah! You should've seen me! I was all over the pitch, runnin' and slingling and the fans were there cheering for me... It was the best!" Team Altador were dejected about the loss but were reassured by their king that he thought nothing less of them. "King Altador is so kind. He told us that we are still his squad and despite the losses, we're his favourites," Salayne Ritad said, definitely showing signs that King Altador's words were having a good effect on their morale.

The knights were not afraid of the ghoulish antics Team Haunted Woods got upto yesterday as the stalwart squad marched in to take wins in Yooyuball, Slushie Slinger and Shootout Showdown. Ilsa Ellits from Team Meridell said, "This is the kind of result that gets King Skarl to crack a smile. It's really quite incredible." The fans of Team Haunted Woods were not silent about it, making enough of a racket to rouse sleeping zombies (yes, Brains did fall asleep during the match) giving them the win in Make Some Noise. "The supporters saw Brains Mortigan dozing off. Thanks to them we didn't have to call in a substitute player," Captain Krell Vitor explained, grateful to the fans.

It was like a really expensive game of Ugga Smash in the stadium as Team Tyrannia clashed with Team Lost Desert, which left the former champions with some heavy bruising. Yooyuball, Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown were handed to the Tyrannians. "We have mighty fans and players. Lost Desert is lost," Captain Loryche of Tyrannia said knowledgably. Luvea Trivon of LD said, "They may have taken us down but we still have our pride - we drew in Slushie Slinger." Indeed, Luvea! The draw in Slushie Slinger is a slight statement, but unfortunately not enough to knock the prehistoric squad's morale.

Team Kreludor was showing no mercy as they snatched Yooyuball, Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown off Team Moltara. Qlydae Wegg said, "We'll give them credit for the effort but they have to try much harder to actually beat us." Not all was lost, though, as the Steampunk Squad had the upper-hand in Slushie Slinger. "The fans just saw the weakness and went for it. I couldn't be prouder," Mor Gollog stated with a satisfied grin.

Two games each for Team Virtupets and Team Terror Mountain but there could only be one winner. "The superior ones are always loyal to the great Doctor Sloth," Weldar Xupenfarb from Virtupets said adamantly. The loyal squad to Sloth was awarded the win in Yooyuball and also took Make Some Noise for good measure. Terror Mountain did not let this worry them and they snapped up wins in Slushie Slinger and Shootout Showdown to give them a nasty bit of frost bite. "Don't mess with the best, dudes," Rinok Fitel of Terror Mountain said coolly.

It was almost way too close to call for the Referee in the Team Brightvale versus Team Faerieland match, where Yooyuball, Slushie Slinger and Shootout Showdown all ended up as a draw. Team Brightvale was only able to secure the overall victory through Make Some Noise. "In the end, our fans had managed to get rid of any traces of Kikoughela and were perfectly loud enough to give us that extra ounce of oomph to defeat the Faeries," Reb Weemelott said sagely. Elbin Kroe from Team Faerieland was astounded. "How close was THAT to being a four-way tie?! That was a very fun match."

For two mini worlds being quite close to each other, the differences are significant. Team Roo Island was dominant in Yooyuball yesterday, avoiding the usual traps opponents fall for against the confusing Kikos, but Team Kiko Lake was steamrolling through with wins in all the support games. "They don't have anything on Lilo and Jair," Gordo Gunnels, Defender of the Rooligans, said proudly. "Our Forwards are unstoppable." Team Kiko Lake's "Poke" Cellers said, "They can have Yooyuball, we had more wins than them in the match from the support games, it's a quantity victory for us Kikos."

And now for our mystery guest! Let's give a warm welcome to "Number Five", Prisoner Five from Cellblock. He has been brought here under the supervision of Master Vex, the prison warden.
Number Five: Huh? Y'wha'? YOOYUBALL?! What, does that come with sprinkles? *Waves stick around* Jelly World is real, I tell ye! Real!
Master Vex: Hush, Number Five! Get on with the match report.
Number Five: WHAT REPORT?! It's the jellies, I tell you, they have their own civilisation.
Master Vex: You just WATCHED the Yooyuball match. Do the report.
Number Five: Why, the nerve of these imbiciles. They don't know of the Giant Jelly and the houses made of jelly...?
Number Five: WHAT REPORT?!
Master Vex: The match between Team Shenkuu and Team Darigan Citadel. I'll give you a clue - we root for Team Darigan Citadel.
Number Five: What is that? An army?
Master Vex: No, they're athletes.
Number Five: I saw the jellies! Chias, lots of Jelly Chias!
Master Vex: The Practice Team? They aren't a real team.
Master Vex: Do you even know what you're talking about?
Number Five: Where are the sprinkles?
Master Vex: Do you remember... Team Darigan Citadel swept Team Shenkuu? Ring any bells?
Number Five: The bells! The bells!
Master Vex: SNAP OUT OF IT.
Number Five: I'm sorry, have we met?
Master Vex: *Facepalms* You have two seconds to say something about the match before I drag you back to the dungeons in Darigan Citadel.
Number Five: Jelly World is real! Tell the world! It's real! And I liked the Lutari, is she on our team?
Master Vex: No. She's on Shenkuu.
Number Five: What a shame. She looks like she might believe me.
Master Vex: I doubt it.
Number Five: Who is the Techo Super-Fan? I would like to meet him. He has a good set of lungs on him.
Master Vex: All right, let's get going. Come on, you crazy Lupe. Stop talking nonsense and... well, just stop talking. Let's get you back to prison like the good idiot that you are...

Well, that was interesting...
But it was also fun :D. Let's have another mystery guest in the VIP Booth! Watch this space ;)

The report has been brought to you by SunnyNeo's Prizes page. *Sniff* We will never see those same prize shop items again... Unless TNT re-release them, of course, but that idea is almost as silly as Jelly World existing!