News Archive

Posted by chimp_chicken_fish on 28th of June 2011 at 07:41 AM NST

Hey, everyone. I'm AAA - AKA the Games Master - if you haven't heard of me you're missing out on life. I noticed that Queen Fyora did the whole match report yesterday for the Altador Cup... Yeah, well, I'm gonna do a better one than that and take over the WHOLE newspost. Ha! Beat that, queeny. Let's see, we're on Day 28 so this means that I am doing the match report for Day 27 (June 27th) of the tourney. Prepare to be amazed at my incredible writing skillz!

What was Team Moltara THINKING?! They were against Team Kiko Lake; they should have learned that Erli Quinnock (the Kikos' goalie) has a 0.5 second delay before diving for the Yooyu. I mean it was BLINDINGLY obvious even from the VIP Booth. Anyway, with some excellent gameplay on Kiko Lake's part, they swept the Moltarans! Although next time they should consider getting some extra practice time to work on their flaws. Team Moltara, watch some of the higher ranking teams to help improve your methods on the field.

Abigail: AAA! I was told I would find you here. Be nice in your match reports or else I'll take over them.
AAA: Go away, sis. You're ruining my time in the spotlight!
Abigail: Moltara is trying, give them a break, and Kiko Lake is respectable. Now carry on if you must but I will interject if you step out of line.
AAA: Grr... fine. Carrying on.

Team Virtupets performed as incredibly as they should. They won Yooyuball, Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise against Team Tyrannia. I have to admit, that is quite an achievement considering that Tyrannia is known for powering through the support games, but Virtupets IS higher on the standings right now. Tyrannia didn't let them get the best of them, though, because Shootout Showdown was awarded to the prehistoric squad. That was a fun match to watch but I could engineer Team Virtupets' robots FAR better than whatever weak technician they have hanging around.

Abilgail: What did I tell you about crossing a line, AAA?
AAA: Oh come on, that was a nice report!
Abigail: Right up until the point you insulted Virtupets' technicians!
AAA: What? There was smoke coming from Goltron the whole match.
Abigail: No there wasn't, that was steam from a hotdog you bought before the match started.
AAA: It was? Oh well, they should probably hire better engineers or whatever anyway. Continuing...

Team Brightvale versus Team Altador. Abigail will tell me off if I say what I want to say about the match so here's my best shot at being nice. Brightvale had luck on their side as they won Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown... well, not so much luck as talent really. And both teams were loud enough that it ended in a draw in Make Some Noise. Team Altador did much better in Slushie Slinger, although they could do with some much better wrist-action. Was that nice enough for you, Abi?

Abigail: You have a long way to go, AAA.
AAA: Shut up, what do you know about reports anyway?
Abigail: I know that you fail at school. And you've overused the term "much better" so far.
AAA: You didn't just say that!
Abigail: I did. Now behave.
AAA: Alright, alright...

Now Team Maraqua and Team Meridell was a good game to watch, they're both really tough teams. Maraqua boasted wins in Yooyuball and Make Some Noise, whilst Meridell got Slushie Slinger. Shootout Showdown ended in a draw. But really, Meridell, a JUBJUB as a goalkeeper?! And Maraqua, what on Neopia possessed you to trade Dorina Hals for Lamelle Turow...

Abigail: AAA!!! Manners.
AAA: I'm sorry but it has to be said.
Abigail: That was rude, it's up to the teams who they hire.
AAA: Dorina was a great player, why did they get rid of her?
Abigail: Maybe she LEFT because Maraqua's Team Captain is almost as diabolical as you.
AAA: I'm more diabolical than he is! In his face.
Abigail: *Facepalms* Ugh... just get the reports over with. You need better people skills.

Team Shenkuu... what to do with you? You won Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger against Team Terror Mountain so you did a good job, but you're so far down the standings you need to analyse where you're going wrong. Maybe some time with me will help! Terror Mountain, you got two wins! Granted it was in Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown, but you need to focus more on the main game if you want to regain that lost stamina--

Abigail: Time with you?
AAA: What about it? It's a generous offer, don't you think?
Abigail: You honestly think Team Shenkuu will ask for YOUR help? You aren't exactly athletic, brother.
AAA: I AM the Games Master. Everyone should be thankful for any offer of help from me. I am charitable, Abi.
Abigail: And what was with you shrugging off the wins in Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown for Terror Mountain? That wasn't very nice, all games count towards the team effort, you're just being critical.
AAA: Sue me!
Abigail: I won't but they might.
AAA: Moving on!

Ah yes, the Rooligans! Team Roo Island did us proud by winning Yooyuball and Make Some Noise against Team Faerieland. Well, that was to be expected, Faerieland doesn't hace the best Yooyuballers in the world. But Queen Fyora has a right to be happy with the Faeries with their two wins in Slushie Slinger and Shootout Showdown. I have to admit, they really are putting up a fight this year... but Rooligans, come on, you could have prevented that result, surely?

Abigail: That was biased, AAA.
AAA: I can support my home team!
Abigail: Yes but match reports are meant to be none-biased.
AAA: I'm doing this, you're not. Be quiet.

Team Lost Desert - fallen champions *tut tut* - you did incredibly well against Team Kreludor, I must admit! The Kreludans are way up there in the standings and you're allllll... the way down the standings - BUT YOU GOT SLUSHIE SLINGER AND MAKE SOME NOISE - that was great work. Alas, Team Kreludor got Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown (as they should, being like the #1 competitor this year) but I bet they couldn't beat my high score on Zurroball! Yeah, Kreludor, I'm callin' you out!

Abigail: Stop being cocky, AAA.
AAA: I'm bored, I want a challenge.
Abigail: Be careful, brother, you may get more than you bargain for!
AAA: Yeah, yeah...

Team Mystery Island versus Team Haunted Woods. Well, having a zombie on the pitch really didn't help the Haunties much, did it? Because Mystery Island won Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown no questions asked. But Haunted Woods redeemed themselves with wins in Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise. Funny, I would have expected MI to do the screaming considering who they were against...

Abigail: Team Haunted Woods is nice.
AAA: They're meant to be scary. I wasn't scared.
Abigail: Believe me, they can be scary, but they're good sports.
AAA: They weren't this time. Epic fail.
Abigail: Don't blame me if you have nightmares about them tonight, AAA. I warned you.
AAA: Whatever. Now for the last match!

Team Krawk Island looted the win in Yooyuball but didn't have the strength to beat Team Darigan Citadel in the support games. The Darigans definitely meant business but could not take the main event from the scallywags. Now I wonder how well they would have performed if "Dasher" Soley was still present? DC had the majority win, can argue with that power.

Abigail: I miss Dasher. He was cool.
AAA: Yeah he was, but too old, he was making mistakes.
Abigail: Not many mistakes though.
AAA: I wonder if the Darigans noticed the difference without the Krawk.
Abigail: Duh. That was a stupid question. Anyway, let's wrap this up!
AAA: Thanks for reading, everyone. We'll give the floor back to the SunnyNeo staff now :). Don't forget about the Games Master Challenge and Daily Dare events!
Abigail: But right now, let's enjoy the rest of the ALTADOR CUP event :D. Goodbye!
AAA: Bye!

(Note: Try to get these today. Feel free to mix and match, and especially to beat those targets! This is just for fun.)

Yooyuball: Aim for 50 wins.
Slushie Slinger: Aim for 25 games.
Make Some Noise: Aim for 75 games.
Shootout Showdown: Aim for 900 games.

Yooyuball: Aim for 20 wins.
Slushie Slinger: Aim for 10 games.
Make Some Noise: Aim for 25 games.
Shootout Showdown: Aim for 200 games.

*Gasps* Who threw me in that closet?!?! And why is there a closet here?

AAA, confound you, you stole the floor...

*Deep breath* Okay, what have we got left to do. Oh yes... Next time we will just have someone nice doing a SECTION of the VIP Booth report. We don't know who, AAA shredded the piece of paper with our next guest on it. Nevermind, we'll see who turns up. And now a word from our sponsor:

This report has been brought to you by SunnyNeo's Altador Cup Game Counters... Take competitiveness to the next level by showing off your scores!