News Archive

The sun is still shining and the days towards the Finals are drawing near... No clean sweeps to mention in today's report unfortunately for some. (What? The VIP hasn't turned up?! This is unbelievable, someone catch Captain Dread, I fear something is amiss. Who were we expecting to come? ... Oh, well he can look after himself, I don't think that Kiko would have a shot at beating him. Hmm? Well just grab whoever passes by for their few minutes in the spotlight. We've got to get this report out today, thank you!) Ahem, sorry about that! Anywho, here is our Altador Cup match report for Day 29 (June 29th) of the tournament.

Team Roo Island set fire to the pitch instead of Team Moltara, by winning Yooyuball, Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown. Moltara was barely able to prevent a sweep by drawing in Slushie Slinger. "Ack, we were nearly swept!" Tulah Kisner exclaimed in shock. "Sorry, Moltara, it was nothing personal," Fenny Vail of Roo Island said sincerely.

Team Tyrannia and Team Haunted Woods rocked the stadium yesterday but could only manage a draw in Yooyuball! "It was like we took turns in scoring. It was getting on my nerves by the tenth goal," Captain Krell Vitor said in exasperation. Captain Loryche of Tyrannia said, "It was like the Concert Hall all over again. We took all the support games and the fans were going wild."

Team Shenkuu rode the rapids easily when they went against Team Kiko Lake, earning them three wins (in Yooyuball, Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise!) "Our current team rank is not the best, but if we're going down, we're taking others with us!" Foltaggio of Shenkuu said challengingly. Kiko Lake kept afloat by taking the win in Shootout Showdown. Ditan Colb of the Kikos said, "Is this a bad time to party until 3 AM? Because I'm going to anyway."

Doctor Sloth does not like Faerie Cakes! With these inspiring words, Team Virtupets caused havoc in the stadium by winning Yooyuball, Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise. "Sprinkles do not compute," XL Striker 3.8 droned in what would appear to be wonder. Team Faerieland, being ones to narrowly dodge complete obliteration, held their own and won Shootout Showdown. "Good grief, that was insane! Care for some sprinkles, XL?" Delma Harrence teased, offering the confused robot a plate of Chocolate Faerie Cakes.

Speaking of cake, Team Meridell and Team Darigan Citadel still could not settle their differences and share a slice of success in Yooyuball and Make Some Noise, which promptly went to the dark citadel. "Meridell, it's time to go home to your King. We're after the Cup this year," Reshar Collifey from DC said tauntingly. The knights were just able to skim the frosting off the cake by drawing in Slushie Slinger and Shootout Showdown. "Why are you talking about cake? I want cake now," Ilsa Ellits of Meridell said longingly. Ilsa's Captain later resolved that they could have some cake if they win the next match.

The Maraquans had more reason to celebrate as they won Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown against Team Terror Mountain. "At least we didn't have to lock Elon in the wardrobe again... this time we forced him to spend ten minutes next to the Techo Super-Fan, that'll teach him to berate the opposition," Barit Jowes of Team Maraqua said resolutely. The Mountaineers had no troubles in taking the wins in Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise. "The trick is yodelling, and only Terror Mountain folk can yodel the best," Osielle Lidel said triumphantly after their win in Make Some Noise.

The pirates of Team Krawk Island were not prepared to sit around waiting for their enemy to pull alongside their ship. Krawk Island went in, swords drawn, to surprise attack Team Kreludor and win Yooyuball. "Arr, ye ain't gonna mess with us, loonies," Captain Garven Hale growled with a happy disposition. Sadly those celebrations were cut short when Team Kreludor turned the tables and won all three support games! "What was that again, Garven?" Captain Derlyn Fonnet teased as her team got the majority win.

The scholars from Team Brightvale meant business yesterday as they scribbled down themselves a win in Yooyuball against the hardy Team Lost Desert. "We will win for Brynn!" Orie Dinelle cheered after the match. The Desert Squad were not deterred by this statistic and rallied three support game wins in retaliation to this. "Coltzan is the real deal here, scholars!" Vonde Cayle of LD said with a smirk.

And now for our mystery guest (just, yeah, just drag him in, he was the closest Neopian nearby... Let him sit down...) the Yurble Janitor!
Yurble Janitor: What am I doing again? Reporting about the Team Mystery Island versus Team Altador match? Why? I didn't watch it, I was cleaning out the Yooyu Pen. *Is handed a card with the results on it* What is this? This is a waste of time you know, I have to get some chewing gum off rows F and J in the stadium before the next lot of matches start, it takes five minutes to mix the formula! I don't have that kind of time... *Grumbles* Very well, I'll give it my best shot... Ahem! Team Mystery Island had wins in Yooyuball, Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown. *Looks up from results card* I guess this means they won the match? Well played to them, I say! *Continues reading* Team Altador (my own team, I am proud to say) is the victor in Slushie Slinger. *Stops reading* I hate Slushie Slinger! The sticky mess of spilt slushies and wasted cartons that aren't even put in the bin for EIGHTEEN TEAMS is a nightmare to clean up. I'm the ONLY cleaner here, you know! I never get a break... King Altador, I want a raise. Now. And speaking of now I have to get going. Have fun etc. etc. *Wanders off, binning the results card on his way out.*

Thanks for cleaning up for us, Mr. Yurble Janitor bloke! Tomorrow we will be visited by the ghost of Hubrid Nox!

This report has been brought to you by SunnyNeo's Fake Avatars page, because no one can resist those little icons!