News Archive

Posted by chimp_chicken_fish on 1st of July 2011 at 04:48 AM NST
Hello, happy-go-lucky people! (And a warm welcome to those who are feeling a bit down in the dumps too.) Now back to the chaos of the Altador Cup tournament. Here is our match report for Day 30 (June 30th).

Team Tyrannia certainly brought the house down on Team Faerieland, by rocking so hard in every aspect of the game that they crumbled the very structure of Faerieland's confidence. The prehistoric squad stood tall and victorious with wins in all four games. "Clean sweeps keep the evil shadows away," Wila Benne said sagely. The Faeries were not discouraged, though. "Giving up is never an option. It never has been and never will be," Valtonous Rea said with a die-hard attitude.

Team Kiko Lake could not cause much of an upset against Team Kreludor, but the Lunar Squad did not expect the Kikos to take Shootout Showdown from them! "You could tell the difference in Meelah Kitah after their Yooyuball loss," Zenor Kevix noted to the press. "It was like a fire had lit within, there was no way Qyldae could match the speed of those throws." Team Kiko Lake could not best them in the other games, unfortunately, and Team Kreludor won Yooyuball, Make Some Noise and Slushie Slinger. Captain "Poke" Cellers said, "We were passionate about the match but Kreludor were the rightful winners in the end. We still have a bit of time left to cause a few upsets this year!"

Team Mystery Island partied all night on the shores of success as they lifted three wins onto their shoulders after yesterday's match against Team Moltara. "Cha, cha, cha! We won!" Lor Benneveldt said happily, shaking some maracas. Indeed they did win! Yooyuball, Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown went to the Islandic squad, whereas a slightly more parched Moltara swiped the win in Slushie Slinger. Zax Bannet from Moltara shrugged. "It's a lot of hard work this tournament! I'm still trying to get the hang of the tough schedule."

The only kings and queens of the sky and sea were the pirates in the Team Krawk Island versus Team Altador match. Krawk Island proudly won Yooyuball, Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown. "Let's make this Krawk Island's year again!" Feldon "Dinksy" Collibridge yelled above the roar of the crowd. The Altadorians were not idle and purchased some footing after a win in Slushie Slinger. "I think they lost Slushie Slinger because they don't serve grog," Lyvon Cibaire from Altador said in thought.

The Rooligans and Darigans were in contentions yesterday when neither team would give up the resistance in Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown. Their clash was so resillient that the Referee declared both games as a Draw. "Who said I was too old to mind the net?" Clutch Billaban of Team Roo Island said with a smirk. The overall win went to the slightly more powerful Team Darigan Citadel, who won Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise. "Hey, form an orderly queue!" Tandrak Shaye of the Darigans insisted to his mob of obsessed fans.

The Brightvale scholars had one over the Mountaineers as they wrote off Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown for wins in Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger. "The focus was awkward but the main game is Yooyuball, and take it we did!" Reb Weemelott of Team Brightvale announced to the press outside of the Coliseum. Team Terror Mountain was at least happy with two out of four wins. "Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown are ours! Now we just need a clean sweep," Rinok Fitel said whilst rummaging around his pockets to hand a packet of throat lozenges to an over-enthusiastic fan.

Team Maraqua caused a short circuit in Team Virtupets' plans by winning Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown. "Aw yeah! In your face, space cadets!" Elon "The Black Hole" Hughlis boasted, performing a very weird victory dance. All was not lost for the powerhouse Virtupets squad, because they delivered a can of pain against the Maraquans in Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise. "When will Elon learn to hold his celebrations until the end of the day?" Sela Pretore asked in bewilderment.

The knights of Team Meridell could not be driven back as Team Lost Desert buckled under the wrath of King Skarl's chosen squad. Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown went to the knights. "JubJubs are far better than Kikos any day," Yoris Obbles said smugly as he held a slight grudge against Rhee Solters for whacking him upside the head with a Fire Yooyu. The Desert Squad fought back with the power of Coltzan behind them, winning Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise in the process. "Leave Rhee alone, you armless scarab!" Derbi Azar complained to the JubJub after the match.

Ghost of Hubrid Nox: Muahahaha! Boo! I am back from the grave looking for Magax to destroy... Whoooooo! Actually, I'm rather peeved at that Xandra Xweetok girl for impersonating me, framing me for a crime I never committed and getting me killed in the process! She got what she deserved, being turned into stone and all that, it's just a bit inconevenient with me being dead, is all. Magax was a bit disappointed that he wasn't the one to destroy me, so I kind of feel sorry for him, but at the same time I expected HIM to be the one to do me in, not some sorceress. Anyway, I wasn't dragged from the Haunted Woods to complain about past misgivings, I am here now to do a match report of all things. Hey, maybe my home team should hire me on the squad? I could zap the opponents with my spectral magic! Muahaha! Oh alright, I'll get on with it... only because I have to go in ten minutes to have a tea party with some denizens in Neovia. Team Haunted Woods versus Team Shenkuu... I've heard some sad things about both these teams but none as unfortunate as, oh I don't know, XANDRA KILLING ME. What? Who said I can't come back as a vengeful ghost? Not my style? I've spent my whole life trying to get vengeance on Magax before I was untimely snuffed out. Oh, yes, the match. Well, my home team was not so fortunate when Shenkuu continued their reign of upsets by winning Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger, aliong with causing a draw in Shootout Showdown. I've heard Shenkuu were causing some damage to other teams' statistics of late but I was kind of hoping they wouldn't hurt Haunted Woods' stats too. A shame, but nevermind. Team Haunted Woods was able to at LEAST get a win in Make Some Noise, that has to count for something, right? Don't worry, I plan to spook a few teams before I leave for the tea party anyway. And with that I must exit dramatically! Goodbye... *Poofs out in a cloud of wispy smoke*

Thanks for coming, Hubrid. Have fun in your ghostly life! Next time in the VIP Booth we will be visited by King Jazan.

This report has been brought to you by SunnyNeo's Altador Cup Shields! Turn the shield on your lookup into another way of supporting your favourite team :).