News Archive

Posted by chimp_chicken_fish on 2nd of July 2011 at 05:31 AM NST
Welcome to Day 32 of the Altador Cup where crazy fans are trying to get in as many games as possible before the end of the Second Round Robin! With upsets and triumphs galore, who wants to miss out? Now for our Day 31 (July 1st) match report.

Team Shenkuu had an excellent day when no amount of magma could stop them from gaining a full clean sweep against Team Moltara. Captain Mirsha Grelinek of Shenkuu was beaming. "Things were grim to begin with but our team bond has never been closer. With morale on the rise, we will prevail, I am incredibly impressed with all our supporters and, of course, my teammates." Team Moltara equally would not be beaten. Mor Gollog, Moltara's goalkeeper, said, "We still need some practice but the tournament isn't over yet! We can do it!"

Team Altador loves those slushies, where there's a Jumbleberry Slushie, there's a keen waitress determined to serve her customers. Altador's Salayne Ritad said, "Our waitress is the best in the land! She cannot be rivalled." Meanwhile, Team Terror Mountain who comes from a land that exports slushies to Altador, got the upper-hand with wins in Yooyuball, Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown. Evrem Guilako from TM said, "Slushies good but winning other games better."

Team Kreludor combed the beach of Team Mystery Island with successful wins in Yooyuball, Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise. Captain Derlyn Fonnet of the Lunar Squad said, "No dancing in the moonlight for those Islanders." Team Mystery Island avoided a sweep by summoning all their might in Shootout Showdown. Bertie Shurtz of the Islanders commented, "You know. It's amazing how one fraction of a second can tell us who the winner of the game is."

Team Meridell thwarted their opponents in Yooyuball, Slushie Slinger and Shootout Showdown in a bid to show them who was boss. Their opponents came in the form of Team Kiko Lake. "I like Kiko Lake, don't get me wrong, but they need a lot of work to rise up the ranks," Fiorina of Meridell said sincerely. Kiko Lake had the rowdiest fans who racked up a win in Make Some Noise. Erli Quinnock said, "It's great winning Make Some Noise because the fans are really on your side."

Team Roo Island was overpowered by the pirates of Team Krawk Island yesterday when the pirates gained wins in Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger and the Rooligans battled for a draw in Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown. Gordo Gunnels of Roo Island said chirpily, "Ah well. The important thing is that we still had fun." The Krawk Islanders celebrated with an all-night party. "If yeh weren't there, then there wasn't enough room," Captain Garven Hale said with a toothy grin.

Team Darigan Citadel put a dark cloud over Team Tyrannia's successes by winning Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger. Kep Bonnefie from DC said, "Sorry, Spikes Barmie, you haven't got the raw skill of the citadel on your side." Team Tyrannia redeemed themselves with wins in Shootout Showdown and Make Some Noise. "Support games are still our forte," Harlis Neyhbol said stoutly. "No one can take that from us!"

Team Haunted Woods would not yield to Team Brightvale's boring speeches of stats and figures and killed their time with Yooyuball, resulting in the win of the game. "Augggghhhh! If I have to listen to one more statistics report I'm gonna dunk my head in Bart's Apple Bobbing barrell and leave it there. I hate stats reports," Fanneti complained in a voice that resounded anguish. His Captain reassured us that he wouldn't let his colleague do that because they don't have the insurance to cover such an event (and his manager added that no one should try that at home either, since it's stupid). The Brightvalians had the majority win with the side game sweep. "Ha, I knew boring the Haunties to death would work," Captain "Squeaky" Tressif laughed.

Team Maraqua has only just come back from a late party to go straight back into their next match. They had right to celebrate because they won Yooyuball, Make Some Noise and Shootout Showdown. "Sorry, no time for press comments, we have to play Yooyuball!" Captain Elon Hughlis of Team Maraqua said, looking sleep-deprived. Team Faerieland won Slushie Slinger and had a party of their own. "You know what's being served tonight? Fried fish," Ciona Broan said with a conspiring glint in her eye.

Um... We appear to have misplaced King Jazan from the VIP Booth. He arrived this morning but has since vanished... *eyes a certain fangirl accusingly* Give Jazan back, fangirl. You know who you are... So who better to fill in temporarily than Hanso (the bane of Jazan's existence)?
Hanso: Haha, the publicity is only a good thing. As you know, I'm more than happy to talk about matches. Let's see... Team Lost Desert was against Team Virtupets and alas, Jazan's squad did no good... Well, what do you expect with an uptight guy like him? But the Desert dudes did draw in Slushie Slinger and won Shootout Showdown. So... good for them. But Virtupets had them under their thumbs or robot appendages with wins in Yooyuball and Make Some Noise. Good work!

Suddenly King Jazan breaks into the VIP Booth looking frantic.
King Jazan: Am I safe?! *Sees Hanso* IXI, what are you doing here?
Hanso: YOUR report because you wandered off.
King Jazan: I didn't wander off, I was held hostage by a crazy fangirl.
Hanso: I'm sure Tandrak Shaye from Team Darigan Citadel has suffered worse than that.
King Jazan: Yeah, well. I'm here now.
Hanso: Too late, I did the report already. You're getting slow, man.
King Jazan: Go away, Hanso.

Suddenly fans of both Jazan AND Hanso burst into the VIP Booth!
King Jazan/Hanso: AAAAGH!
Hanso: Shall we settle our differences and just get out of here before they hug us to death?
King Jazan: Agreed. Let's go!

Um, thanks, guys. Travel safely! Next time in the VIP Booth we have the lovely Princess Terrana from the empire of Shenkuu.

This report has been brought to you by SunnyNeo's Art Adoptables. Who can resist the awesomeness?